Yes ma'am, I did drive past your house the first time because you have no numbers on your house or mailbox.
No ma'am, we did not come with lights and sirens on, even though your husband's chief complaint is nausea.
Yes ma'am, I was asleep when you called 9-1-1 because I thought it was OK to sleep at 3 o'clock in the morning.
No ma'am, I am not getting paid to be asleep, I am a volunteer. I was sleeping at the station so that we would have a good response time for your "emergency".
Yes ma'am, I am a trained professional. Volunteer does not mean stupid.
No ma'am, you cannot have your whole family ride in the ambulance with us. One rider only.
Yes ma'am, my partner has to take your husband's blood pressure, even though you made it quite clear that "That isn't what's wrong with him!"
No ma'am, we are not going to use the lights and sirens to go to the hospital that is only 10 minutes away. Your husband is stable and in good hands with my partner.
Yes ma'am, your insurance is going to get billed for this transport. We are not a free taxi.
No ma'am, I will not drive through red lights just because we're an ambulance and you think I should be allowed to.
Yes ma'am, your husband will have to sign that same piece of paper for my partner that he did the 5 other times we've taken him to the hospital. We need a new one each time.
No ma'am, I can't tell the nurse what she is going to do to make your husband feel better. Her level of training is higher than mine.
To the patient in the back: My partner said your were one of the nicest, easiest patients he's had. You were funny and apologetic about summoning us (although you shouldn't, that's why we're here). I wish I could have more patients like you. But next time, leave the wife at home.
Serve On,
The Public "Servant"
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In my ten years on a truck I don't know how many times I've had this conversation or some variation there-of.
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